Intro: 
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Hello toilet trained, come on in
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Floyd observes my hairy chin
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"Sit down in the chair, don't be afraid."
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Steaming hot towel on my face

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G#
I was shaved, 
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C
 
G#
I'm ashamed, 
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C
 
G#
I was shaved, 
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A
 
C
 
G#
I'm ashamed

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[Indecipherable] in the room
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Opie, Aunt Bea, I presume
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They take turns and cut me up
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I die smothered, Andy's not

C#
 
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C
 
G#
I was shaved, 
C#
 
A
 
C
 
G#
I'm ashamed, 
C#
 
A
 
C
 
G#
I was shaved, 
C#
 
A
 
C
 
G#
I'm ashamed

Solo:
A|---------0-1-3-3-1-0--------------0-1-3-3-1-0-----|
E|-1-1-0-1-------------3-1--1-1-0-1-------------3-1-|